


skaters against  h8ers

by JkWriter



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Group chat, M/M, Why Did I Write This?, Yuri Really likes cats, jumping on the band wagon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:35:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9267806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JkWriter/pseuds/JkWriter
Summary: chiquitita added keiano to the chatkeiano: who are these peopleleskate: we want music. give us musickeiano left the chat.chiquitita added keiano to the chatchiquitita: you can't run from me





	1. we want music

leskate: hey yuuri, who wrote your music for the freeskate? 

yuuri: oh, just a friend of phichit and i’s from detroit  
yuuri: why?

leskate: i was wondering if they would write me a song, yours was pretty good

chrison: yES. 

yuuri: i’m not sure if she has a kik  
yuuri: i dont really keep in contact with her anymore

chiquitita: where yuuri fails, i arrive to save the day

minimart: you have her kik? id like to ask about music too

chiquitita: yeah  
chiquitita: i could add her to the chat, idk how well she’d react to everyone though  
chiquitita: she never really cared about figure skating, when we took her she fell twice and then laid on the ice pouting about us showing off

yiger: i want to meet this girl, she sounds like my spirit animal

otatter: didnt you say that about the cat we saw last week?

yiger: i came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now 

chiquitita: hold up, ill add her

chiquitita added keiano to the chat

keiano: who are these people

leskate: we want music. give us music

keiano left the chat.  
chiquitita added keiano to the chat

chiquitita: you can't run from me

keiano: why is this chat called “skaters against h8ers”

leskate: why are you called keiano 

keiano: touché 

yuuri: I blame phichit for this

chiquitita: you can't blame me for everything  
chiquitita: yesterday you tried blaming me because viktor was too busy sleeping to love you

vik: i regret nothing

chrison: savage

yuuri: i want a divorce 

leskate: and i waNT MUSIC SO HOW BOUT IT KEIANO

keiano: you got money

leskate: did you make yuuri pay

keiano: no, but we were bffs in school, idk you  
keiano: and student loans are expensive af

leskate: i have a bojangles giftcard and a half eaten taco from taco bell 

keiano: sold what you want

minimart: wait what’s a bojanbles  
minimart: *bojanbles  
minimart: ****BBOJANGLES  
minimart: i give up

leskate: only the best place to get biscuits in the south eastern united states  
leskate: well, that and biscuitville

keiano: there is only bojangles

chrison: i havent got a giftcard, but i have my presence which i believe is payment enough

keiano: like i said before, idk you  
keiano: for all i know you could be a closet perv

yuuri: ….

vik:....

chiquitita:....

yiger: ……………………..

otatter: well, you’re not wrong about that

chrison: to quote our dear yuri plisetsky “i came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now” 

keiano: yuri what  
keiano: there’s two yuris in this chat??????

chiquitita: i wasnt kidding when i said she wasnt into skating

keiano: are these your skater friends  
keiano: the name of this chat suddenly makes much more sense

vik: on a serious note, since these children are unable to do so, how would you feel about composing music for us

keiano: wait so is vik that viktor guy yuuri had a slight obsession with

chiquitita: yes

yuuri: nO

keiano: yuuri, how come you are using your real name and not a weird nicknames like everyone else

yuuri: all the good ones were used in other fics and the writer didn’t want to appear to be copying anyone despite the fact that the idea of this fic itself is copying 

keiano: what

chiquitita: what he means is, why use nicknames when your own name is perfect

gil: you say that 

chiquitita: ah, seung-gil you’re actually responding!

gil: how could i not when all you people are doing is blowing up my phone

king: if seung-gil is going to be an active participant in this conversation than i must be as well!

vik: i forgot jj was in here, who added jj

chiquitita: i cant just exclude someone from the chat, everyone is here

yiger: im leaving

otatter: we all know this chat is your guilty pleasure

yiger: im leaving

king: don’t be like that kitten

yiger: im leaving

keiano: who’s jj?

king: …………………………………………………………….

yiger: i think you broke him

keiano: i honestly don’t know who any of you are (asides from yuuri, phichit, and viktor because of yuuri’s unhealthy obsession)

king: im the king jj no one defeats me

yiger: stOP RIgHT nOw

keiano: oh thats jj  
keiano: my roommate loves you

yuuri: you’ve already found a new roommate?

keiano: what was i supposed to do, mope around because you and phichit moved out?

vik: wait i thought you didnt speak much to yuuri after he decided not to use the piece you wrote for him

keiano: i didnt  
keiano: it was really awkward  
keiano: because we shared an apartment

yuuri: pls no

keiano: he would ask me things through phichit 

chiquitita: it was rather sad, but i passed on messages

yuuri: why are you doing this to me

leskate: do you still live in detroit then?

keiano: nah, i moved back home

yiger: you make it sound like you moved around the country

keiano: i kinda did, except south  
keiano: im from north carolina so thats where i went

chiquitita: oooooohhhhhhhhhhhh  
chiquitita: how’s your family? is your brother still a dick? 

keiano: they want to know when you and yuuri are going to visit again

minimart: i wanna visit

yiger: you dont even know her

minimart: that doesn’t mean i cant visit

leskate: if anyone is going to visit it should be me, i am the closest afterall

keiano: you can idc  
keiano: it might be easier to compose your song if i can see you skate

gil: just google him, im sure youll find plenty of videos of him skating that way

keiano: i like watching people skate first hand if im going to be writing them a song, its how i wrote the first draft of yuuris song

vik: but it was pretty trash

keiano: like his skating was  
keiano: that was mean im sorry  
keiano: really though, he lacked confidence

vik: and you just fixed it to match his newfound confidence?

keiano: pretty much yeah  
kletiano: i started rewriting it after watching that video of him skating your routine

yuuri: i thought we all agreed never to talk about that

keiano: i didn’t agree to anything

vik: ketty, right?

keiano: yeye

vik: did anyone ever send you pictures from the banquet last year???  
vik: yuuri got hella drunk

keiano: oh god  
keiano: oh no  
keiano: pls tell me he kept his clothes on this time

chrison: ;)

keiano: there was a reason i made sure to keep the alcohol locked up  
keiano: and that i didn’t let phichitt and yuuri go bar hopping

vik: can phichit even get into a bar in america?

chiquitita: we didn’t spend all of our time in america, we travelled 

yuuri: more like you two followed me to competitions

chiquitita: we traveled

chrison: somehow it doesn’t suprise me that you just casually followed yuuri around  
christon: that seems like somethingg you’d do

keiano: WAITTtt  
keiano: is chrison him????

chiquitita: yes

chrison: who am i?

yuuri: i wasnt going to bring it up

keiano: chris come visit me ;)

chrison: what is this  
chrison: what is happening

minimart: i believe this is you getting hit on

chrison: oh my  
chrison: im swooning viktor catch me

vik: im good

yiger: rekt

mickeymouse: hows it hanging my boys i have arrived

yuuri: hi emil

vik: hey emil

minimart: how’re ya emil?

mickeymouse: what makes you think im emil?

chiquitita: we all know you’re sleeping with michele  
chiquitita: that and michele would never call us his boys

keiano:....  
keiano: im leaving  
keiano: ill get started on some music for yall

keiano has left the conversation

minimart: emil you scared her away

mickeymouse: :(  
mickeymouse: who was that?

yuuri: the girl who wrote my freeskate music  
yuuri: everyone was pestering her about writing music for them

yiger: well is she

yuuri: probably  
yuuri: maybe  
yuuri: i dont know

leskate: I WANT MUSIC DAMMIT

ghskates: what did i come on to 


	2. guys yuuris drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vik: guys  
> vik: oh my god guys
> 
> yiger: HELO ME
> 
> minimart: is yurio okay???
> 
> vik: look at this 
> 
> vik sent attachment: yuuri-drunk-clinging.jpeg

vik: guys  
vik: oh my god guys

yiger: HELO ME

minimart: is yurio okay???

vik: look at this 

vik sent attachment: yuuri-drunk-clinging.jpeg

chiquitita: poor yurio  
chiquitita: probably wants love from someone else, if you know what i mean

yiger: I WANT VIKTOR TO STOP LAUGHING AND PULL THE PIG OFF OF ME  
yiger: HE KEEPS CALLING ME VICCHAN

mickeymouse: im telling you guys, yuuri is a closet pervert  
mickeymouse: like chris, except chris doesn't hide it

chrison: ouch  
chrison: im hurt mickey

emilmouse: that was savage

chiquitita: awe, do you two have matching usernames now?

mickeymouse: he cried when i said no and the told sala  
mickeymouse: she made me let it happen

chiquitita: score one for sara

mickeymouse: iTS SALA YOU STUPID AMERICANS

chiquitita: hate to break it to you, but im not american

leskate: wtf mickey  
leskate: im like the only one who actually calls her sala  
leskate: I came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now

ghskates: that meme is over two years old why are we still using it

yiger: that meme is my life  
yiger: for example I came to japan to have a good time and HONESTLY IM FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW VIKTOR GET YOUR FUCKING FIANCÉ OFF OF ME

vik sent attachment: yurio-plotting-murder.jpeg

chiquitita: are we going to ignore the fact that yuuri is in a spider-man onesie

vik sent attachment: help.jpeg

yiger: IM FREEEEEEEE

otatter: are you okay though  
otatter: he looked like he had you in a death grip 

yiger: he let go as soon as he realized Viktor was there  
yiger: on the downside he’s found a pole

chrison: yES

leskate: ??

chrison sent attachment: gpf-yuuri-banquet.jpeg

leskate: OH MY VOD  
leskate: GUANG-HONG COVER YOUR EYES

ghskates: hot

minimart: does this mean i need to take up pole dancing lessons to be like yuuri

ghskates: no.

chiquitita: yes.

ghskates: don't encourage him phichit

king: what the hell is happening  
king: are we sharing pictures from the banquet?  
king: cause i have some gr8 ones having to do with a dance off

yiger: you lie

king sent attachment: danceoff.jpeg

yiger: I am dead  
yiger: goodbye world

mickeymouse sent attachment: gpf-dancing.jpeg

leskate: wow  
leskate: looks like we missed a fun party 

ghskates: leo no

leskate: leo yes

chiquitita: we should have a party 

yuuri: yASSSSSSSSHHHH

vik: im so sorry guys 

yuuri: vikror wherss you gok

yiger: “gok”

yuuri: yeuio don't talk to yous mother like that

otatter: “mother” lol

chiquitita: that's cute  
chiquitita: yuuri is yurios mother

yiger: he’s not my mother

vik: I RAISED TOU BETTEE THAM THIA AND THIS IS HOW YOU TEAy ME

mickeymouse: you okay viktor?

yiger: yuuri took his phone and is now running around the house laughing  
yiger: HEA KNOCKING ON MY DOOR HELP ME

mickeymouse: oh no

emilmouse: yuri is dead

chiquitita: we’ll hold a funeral for him  
chiquitita: at a hot topic

ghskates: what's a hot topic  
ghskates: is it illegal

leskate: ill take you to one tomorrow

chiquitita: AND HOW CAN YOU DO RHAT HMMMM  
chiquitita: DO YOU HAVE SOWNTHING TO SHARE WITH THE CLASS????

leskate: yeah, gh is in america for his birthday week  
leskate: literally everyone here knows this  
leskate: have you not been on instagram????

mickeymouse: I have  
mickeymouse: you shouldn't fall asleep in an airport, it's not safe

emilmouse: that's not what you said last week

mickeymouse: but it is??, that's exactly what i said last week

chiquitita: are all my otps hanging out without me

gil: sucks to be you

chiquitita: seung-gil you can't be mean too :)  
chiquitita: *****:(

gil: how do you mess up a frowny face

chiquitita: it takes a certain set of skills that i just happen to have

yiger: guys i think viktor is dead

ghskates: glad to see you're alive at least

yiger: he and yuuri got really quiet  
yiger: like idk what to do  
yiger: yuuri’s sister is asking me if everything is okay wHAT DO I SAY

leskate: tell her they're too gay for you to keep track of and then lock the door

yiger: yeah, no 

chiquitita: they're ded  
chiquitita: rip victuuri 

ghskates: leo im tired

leskate: then go to bed

yiger: what time is it in america land

leskate: close to midnight now  
leskate: we stayed up watching phantom of the opera and questioning yuuri’s daytime drinking  
leskate: hope its not a habit

yiger: there was a party or something at the onsen  
yiger: whoever brought champagne should be arrested  
yiger: whoever brought the strippers pole should be arrested  
yiger: im pretty sure it was viktor

chrison: ive always known it was his guilty pleasure

mickeymouse: ew

emilmouse: mickey has a strippers pole  
emilmouse: except it's in front of the house

mickeymouse: emil thATS A COLUMN  
mickeymouse: A IONIC COLUMN THAT IS BASED OFF OF ROMAN CULTURE  
mickeymouse: SALA CHOOSE IT SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM FIGHT HER

chiquitita: Emil apologize to you boyfriend

emilmouse: im sorry i called your column a stripper pole  
emilmouse: i realize now i shouldn't have  
emilmouse: especially when you have a column fetish

mickeymouse: im

leskate: so in other news  
leskate: before Mickey kills emil  
leskate: gh and i are gonna go visit ketty

chiquitita: wait really

minimart: i still wanna go

yiger: you've never met her and yet you're gonna visit her

ghskates: we’re flying out on wednesday  
ghskates: she's gonna let us stay for a few days before we each have to fly home

chiquitita added keiano

chiquitita: have you replaced yuuri and i  
chiquitita: ANSWER ME DAMMIT

yiger: isn't it like three in the morning where she is

chiquitita: idc I want attention and if i want it at three in the morning than dammit imma get it

keiano: fuck off phichit  
keiano: im dead to the world

chiquitita: now listen here young lady  
chiquitita: I let you in my house and this is how you repay me  
chiquitita: this is not allowed  
chiquitita: not now not ever

keiano blocked chiquitita

keiano: im going to turn notifications off and go to bed  
keiano: tell him ill unblock him in a few hours

leskate: got it ketty

ghskates: ill let him know

chiquitita: let him know what  
chiquitita: did she BLOCK ME

ghskates: she's turning off notifications and going back to bed  
ghskates: she’ll unblock you in the morning

chiquitita: how dare she

yiger: guys  
yiger: i found Yuuri and viktor

yiger sent attachment: nerds-asleep-bath.jpeg

king: isn't sleeping in a bath dangerous  
king: wake them up

yiger: fuck off jj  
yiger: I hate when you're right  
yiger: brb

gil: from what i have gathered, yuuri does not handle alcohol very well

king: nope lol  
king: banquets are great when he's around

king sent attachment: yuuriviktor.jpeg

gil: is he grinding on Viktor  
gil: half naked  
gil: and drunk?

yiger: it was a nightmare

vik: it was what made me fall in love

yiger: do you regret that now

vik: why would i?

yuuri: fiys  
yuuri: my chmoage  
yuuri: is missig  
yuuri: oh kerry aas on?  
yuuri: and i missed her

vik: ……

chiquitita: ?????

vik: yuuri has locked himself in the bathroom  
vik: and it sounds like he's crying

yuuri: i hust feel so bad  
yuuri: she erote that song for me and i didn't user it

yiger: viktor take his phone away

chiquitita: don't do it

yuuri: she was always so nice  
yuuri: even adter i sad no

vik: yuuri please unlock the door

yuuri: i can't, it's illegal 

vik: yuri help? 

yiger: ugh, only because no one good is on anymore

chiquitita: :(

yiger: like I said, everyone good left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill post chapters as i write them i guess, so they'll be at least weekly updates


	3. ketty has a cat and yuuri is still a little drunk (no matter what he says)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keiano: I bet you he was thinking bout food
> 
> yuuri: ……  
> yuuri: well, you're not wrong  
> yuuri: if Viktor counts as food
> 
>  
> 
> chiquitita: WOAH WEOAH WEOAH WHAT THE FDUCK

keiano unblocked chiquitita

keiano: alright phichit im awake what the hell do you want 

chiquitita: you're letting gh and leo stay over  
chiquitita: have you replaced yuuri and i  
chiquitita: are we no longer you bffs

keiano: you woke me up at three am for that  
keiano: you know what im not surprised

yiger: rekt

chiquitita: yuri  
chiquitita: my man  
chiquitita: how are my friends who actually care about me

yiger: i would say im offended rn but i did roast you lol  
yiger: and they're doing great  
yiger: yuuri is asleep and viktor is eating katsudon

king: what's katsudon

minimart: pork cutlet bowls, they're really good!!!

chiquitita: ah, mini, always nice of you to make an appearance 

keiano: i looked you up  
keiano: I like your hair

minimart: thank you! 

chiquitita: he's a chicken nugget

keiano: a what

chiquitita: a chicken nugget  
chiquitita: don't ask why just accept it

keiano: right…

ghskates: guys  
ghskates: leo and his coach are having a fight over the phone  
ghskates: he keeps yelling and idk what to do

king: soothe his soul with mac n cheese

yiger: im sorry but im still not over how different jj when it's not a competition like its scary

king: don't worry about it  
king: just let gh go soothe leos soul with mac n cheese

ghskates: will… will that work

king: he's american of course it will

yiger: jj i hate you stop being so weird

king: i am being true to myself

yiger: well i don't like it go back to being a bastard everyone hates 

keiano: be nice yuri

yiger: and why should i

keiano: im part of the jj defense squad  
keiano: my roommate made me, but i don't really have a problem with it

yiger: so it sounds like your roommate likes figure skating

keiano: yeah, huge fan of it  
keiano: has posters and everything

yiger: do they know you're in a gc with the three Grand Prix medalists?

keiano: you know that's a great question brb

chiquitita: bet you five bucks her roommate is gonna steal the phone

ghskates: i say doesn't believe her

leskate: well if they don't now they certainly will come Wednesday

chiquitita: leo you're here  
chiquitita: are you done yelling at your coach

leskate: i wasnt yelling  
leskate: just loudly raising my voice

king: yelling

leskate: yeah it was yelling  
leskate: and yes im done  
leskate: I think  
leskate: also gh where's my mac n cheese

ghskates: ….

king: told you  
king: soothes the soul

keiano: k im back  
keiano: she didn't believe me

ghskates: bam  
ghskates: drop the mic

yiger: be sure to give us updates when Leo and gh visit

leskate: ill live tweet it

ghskates: how weird is that gonna bee?  
ghskates: everyones gonna be so confused by it

yiger: ha, you said bee

chiquitita: according to all known laws of aviation

leskate: no  
leskate: stop

chiquitita: do you not like the new movie???

leskate: idk why it got so popular  
leskate: i hated it when it first came out  
leskate: we watched it in class and i faked a fear of bees to get out

gh: savage

vik: i have been summoned

yiger: literally no one summoned you

vik: you spoke of the bee movie  
vik: that requires my attention

leskate: i came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now

vik: sucks leo  
vik: if only someone cared

ghskates: :(  
ghskates: i care leo

vik: gh doesn't count because he has to love you

leskate: it's okay gh, you count in my heart 

yiger: gay

chiquitita: viktor  
chiquitita: my man  
chiquitita: how's yuuri

vik: well he's still asleep  
vik: though he’ll probably wake up feeling awful and then not sleep through the night

keiano: who tf let him even drink  
keiano: like even i wasnt that bad

vik: once he starts there's no stopping him

keiano: just take it away????  
keiano: it's not that hard of a concept

yiger: viktor is just an idiot

otatter: and irresponsible 

yiger: oh hey otabek

otatter: hey yuri

gil: do you people ever shut up

chiquitita: the whole gang is here!  
chiquitita: except emil and mickey but i don't wanna know what they're getting up to  
chiquitita: same with chris jj and mini  
chiquitita: except they're not sleeping together  
chiquitita: at least i hope they're not

king: im engaged you idiot

chiquitita: hey you’re back  
chiquitita: and you never know

gil: phichit  
gil: i will fly to thailand and take your phone away

vik: just turn off notifications

gil: but if I did that I might miss something important 

yiger: what in this chat could possibly be important?

leskate: ketty has a cat

yiger: WOAH WOSH WOAH  
yiger: HOKD THE FUCK UO  
yiger: KETTY HAS A CAT

keiano: yes?

yiger: AWE HELL YES  
yiger: FINALLY THERE IS SOMEONE COMPETENT IN THIS CHAT

chiquitita: calm down yuri

yiger: CALM SOWN? THERE IS ANOTHE CAT PERSON

vik: how do you even know she has a cat

ghskates: she told us when we mentioned visiting  
ghskates: in case either of us were allergic 

yiger: VIKTOR A CAT

vik: yuri just woke yuuri up with his excited screaming brb

yiger: what kind of cat? gender? name?

keiano: chill dude  
keiano: siamese, girl, lily

yiger: im visiting  
yiger: next flight to the us im on

minimart: weren't you saying earlier that we shouldn't visit because she's still a stranger to most of us

yiger: a cat mini  
yiger: a CAT

otatter: i dont recommend flying to the us with the promise of seeing a cat

yiger: too bad it's happening

yuuri: pls stop humping  
yuuri: **jumping

chiquitita: what might he be humping????

yuuri: shjhhh  
yuuri: sinple mistake

keiano: yuuri are you still drunk

yuuri: oh hey ketty  
yuuri: I don't think so, head just hurts a lot  
yuuri: though everythingg is a bit fuzzy

vik: guys yuuri is alive

king: we can see that

keiano: shame on you letting him daytime drink

vik: okay there was a party  
vik: A PARTY  
vik: i wasnt about to stop him from having fun

mickeymouse: yuuri is a closet pervert confirmed

yiger: yuuri do you have any argument?

yuuri: yeah here's one  
yuuri: where the fuck is my advil  
yuuri: i know you took it

yiger: rip yuri 2017

vik: guys i think yuuri is going to kill yuri

mickeymouse: shouldn’t you stop him

king: yeah, yuri is the only good rival i have so dont let him die

chrison: exCUSE YOU  
chrison: I AM IGHT HERE  
chrison: AND IM FEELINGS VERRY ATTACKED

vik: chris chill

chiquitita: and learn how to type  
chiquitita: like dayum

chrison: i have a lot of feelings okay

yiger: viktor help

king: go help that poor child

vik: im good  
vik: watching yuuri stumble around the house trying to find his glasses is funny

chiquitita: his glasses?

vik: yuri grabbed them and ran so that yuuri wouldn't be able to attack him  
vik: though yuuri just seems more pissed

keiano: rip yuri 2k17

emilmouse: rip

mickeymouse: emIL NO

emilmouse: emil yes

minimart: I was gone for half and hour what is happening

otatter: welcome to my world

gil: that's me everytime i open this stupid chat

chiquitita: awe, you think it's stupid?

gil: yes.

chiquitita: …..

yiger: get rekted

chrison: and this is why yuuri is going to kill you

yiger: i think it has more to do with the fact that his fiancé won't come HELP ME

mini: go help yuri

vik: but how can i send videos like this

_vik sent attachment: yurisdead.mov_

king: rip yuri

chiquitita: rip 

otatter: rip

ghskates: rip

leskate: rip

yiger: even you, otabek???

gil: viktor go help him  
gil: we dont need you to record him dying

vik: ugh fine

chiquitita: do you think he’ll be okay

otatter: I'm sure he’ll be fine, eventually  
otatter: might have some emotional damage because it looks like yuuri was going to win that fight

yiger: that pig was not going to win

keiano: be nice to yuuri he's a precious child who must be protected at all costs

chrison: uh  
chrison: did you see his Eros performance  
chrison: he isn't a child

keiano: I bet you he was thinking bout food

yuuri: ……  
yuuri: well, you're not wrong  
yuuri: if Viktor counts as food

chiquitita: WOAH WEOAH WEOAH WHAT THE FDUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jj defense squad ftw


	4. leo this was a bad idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leskate: can I live tweet it
> 
> vik: yes
> 
> yuuri: no
> 
> chrison: live tweeting is the way to go, boys

_@leskates gh and i are off to north carolina! wish us luck on the flight_  
@sk8er5eva @leskates good luck you two! have fun!  
@fhakxhsk @leskates why are you going there, it's the most boring state  
@leskates @fhakxhsk why did you just key smash to get your username? it's the most boring way to get one  
@spnsherwho @leskates are you visiting family and friends?  
@leskates @spnsherwho visiting some stranger we’ve never met but talk to on the internet  
@yukatsui @leskates don't make ketty sound creepy like that!!  
@leskates @yukatsuki but is this whole situation not creepy? 

vik: did you guys see leo  
vik: he was sassing people on twitter including the love of my life  
vik: yuuri never lets me do that

yuuri: that’s because last time you did you almost started a twitter war  
yuuri: and im sorry but did you just call me the love of your life when he sassed me but switch to my name when I don't let you do things

vik: i should be allowed to start things  
vik: because they would be amazing

yiger: viktor shouldn't even have a twitter  
yiger: i mean have you even looked at his instagram?

king: while we’re on the topic of instagram i vote we delete chris’ profile

chrison: rude  
chrison: what’s wrong with my instagram

king: it's not what's wrong with it, it's what isn't wrong with it  
king: as in the whole thing is a sin  
king: and you disgust all of us

yiger: agreed  
yiger: i just agreed with jj someone shoot me

king: go to the us  
king: guns are legal there

chiquitita: shots fired  
chiquitita: ….  
chiquitita: i just realized what I said was a pun and now I feel the need to apologize to everyone

mickeymouse: you should feel bad  
mickeymouse: because emil thought that was hilarious and now he’s running off to show sala

chiquitita: suddenly i feel less bad about it

mickeymouse: im starting a riot

king: again, go to the us  
king: riots seem popular there nowadays

chiquitita: chill out with the controversial topics

king: hey, it's not that im trying to bring them up  
king: you guys are just giving me the opportunity  
king: and I have a lot of feelings about the us right now

chiquitita: doesn't everyone

yuuri: did you guys see how many people were marching

chiquitita: if yuuri and i still lived there we woulda joined in

yuuri: ketty, have you any thoughts

yiger: she's not on right now

keiano: yes I am  
keiano: im always on  
keiano: lurking

yuuri: no we were just messaging and i told you to get on

keiano: yuuri you're ruining the mystery

yiger: get rekted

keiano: is it illegal to punch a fifteen year old in the face

otatter: assume it is  
otatter: that's how I get by

yiger: im

yuuri: right back to ketty’s thoughts  
yuuri: riots in america

keiano: they’ll calm down eventually  
keiano: I hope  
keiano: there haven't been any outside my apartment building so that's nice

king: if your president tries to visit my country we’re stopping him

keiano: he might not be as bad as people are making him out to be  
keiano: sure, he's already begun the process of ruining healthcare  
keiano: and will likely take away some of the rights people spent years fighting for  
keiano: and pls send free health care and civil rights

king: come to canada  
king: Isabella and I will adopt you

keiano: Im pretty sure im older than you

king: shhh  
king: we’ll adopt you

vik: if there is anybody getting adopted it's yurio  
vik: and Yuuri and i are adopting him

yiger: no?

vik: too late im signing the papers

yiger: you're sitting right next to me  
yiger: stop lying to everyone  
yiger: you're trying to take pictures of yuuri’s ass not signing no adoption papers

chiquitita: DO NOT   
chiquitita: THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND I WILL DIGHT YOU  
chiquitita: COME TO THAILAND BITCH

yuuri: it's okay phichit I do the same thing to him

yiger: WHATW AS THAT  
yiger: THATS MY BEST FRIEND ILL FGHT YOU

vik: guys  
vik: Yuri just called me his best friend im swooning

yiger: don't feel too excited  
yiger: because i still like otabek more than you

chiquitita: otabekxyuri confirmed

yiger: no

chiquitita: let my ships sail

king: Phichit seems like the kind of person who spends all their time on the internet fangirling about us

chiquitita: that's a bit too creepy, even for me

gil: i could send you his blog  
gil: that is exactly what he does on that

chiquitita: i am never telling you anything ever again

gil: you shouldn't have told me in the first place  
gil: i told you i was going to use it as blackmail material 

chiquitita: i regret everything

gil: hey, I haven't actually told them the name yet

chiquitita: pls never do

gil: blackmail material

emilmouse: i used to always think phichit would be the one to have blackmail material on everyone  
emilmouse: but now im starting to realize i was wrong  
emilmouse: it's seung-gil

gil: i need to ensure my assets

keiano: if you need some more stuff on phichit and yuuri I got you covered

gil: message me later

leskate: gh and i are alive

keiano: ayyyy

yiger: if only we cared  
yiger: …  
yiger: that was mean im sorry

leskate: it's okay yuri  
leskate: we all know you're a ball of rage ready to erupt at whoever is closest to you  
leskate: usually viktor

ghskates: ketty where are you  
ghskates: we’re lost

keiano: oh was I supposed to pick you up

leskate: so i know you're being sarcastic  
leskate: but rude

keiano: lmao  
keiano: i see you guys 

vik: i cant believe they actually decided to visit her

yiger: i can  
yiger: they're both idiots who apparently like to meet strangers from the internet 

yuuri: didn't you say you wanted to go see her cat  
yuuri: and she's not a stranger she lived with Phichit and i

yiger: you say that like the two of you have a good judge of character

ghskates: guys!!!

ghskates sent attachment: firstselfie.jpeg

chiquitita: awe  
chiquitita: ketty i miss you come to thailand  
chiquitita: we don't even have to fight 

leskate: gh just posted that on instagram  
leskate: and ketty’s roommate is spamming her phone  
leskate: live tweeting here we come

vik: oh no

_@leskates north carolina is nice, rdu was very welcoming!!_  
@leskates especially the lady who tried to steal gh’s bag  
@sk8fromh8erss @leskates awe poor gh! is he okay?  
@leskates @sk8fromh8erss yeah, he didn't even notice too preoccupied talking with our ride  
@abbyswivil @leskates ARE YOU KINFFIG ME  
@abbyswivil @leskates IF KETTY OS LYING TO ME I SWEAR  
@leskates @abbyswivil have i found the roommate  
@leskates @abbyswivil leo and gh coming to a living room near you 

vik: now he's trolling ketty’s roommate  
vik: yuuri let me have my twitter password

yuuri: no.

chiquitita: I can't believe he’s actually live tweeting this  
chiquitita: this is better than that time chris live tweeted Viktor and yuuri’s date

king: or that time he live tweeted Emil and mickey’s

yiger: or that time he live tweeted the banquet  
yiger: ah good times

vik: you say that  
vik: but i don't think you mean it

yiger: gasp  
yiger: are you accusing me, yuri plastickey of lying  
yiger: what the fuck

vik: oh my god that's hilarious

yiger: WHAT AHPOENED TO MY NAME

leskate: I believe that is called auto-correct   
leskate: and it has attacked you

vik: Leo you're back!  
vik: how's the roommate

leskate: she freaked out a bit  
leskate: and now won't stop talking to gh

ghskates: save me

leskate: im good babe  
leskate: you never soothed my soul with mac n cheese

keiano: this is gr8

chiquitita: poor gh  
chiquitita: leo go sweep your boyfriend off his feet and run off into the sunset

leskate: can I live tweet it

vik: yes

yuuri: no

chrison: live tweeting is the way to go, boys

yuuri: don't think ive forgiven you  
yuuri: oh god just think about mari’s reaction gives me goosebumps

vik: it was pretty great 

_@leskates just swept gh off his feet and now we’re running off into the sunset_  
@leskates @phichitsk thanks for the advice  
@phichitsk @leskates happy to help 

ghskates: leo this was an awful idea   
ghskates: my notifications are blowing up

chiquitita: wait did you actually do it

keiano sent attachment: lolwut.jpeg

chiquitita: GH LOOKS LIKE HES HOLDING ON FOR DESR LIFE  
chiquitita: IM DEAD YHIS IS GREAT

otatter: how is any of this great  
otatter: my notifications are blowing up just because im associated with you people

yiger: this is my daily life  
yiger: especially when viktor or yuuri tags me in a picture

yuuri: but we can't just not tag you

yiger: but you can  
yiger: it's not that hard  
yiger: when you're given the option  
yiger: you ignore it

yuuri: never

ghskates: guys  
ghskates: leo just kind of carried me away  
ghskates: aND NOW WE’RE LOST

leskate: it's not my fault

ghskates: IT IS YOUR FAULT

leskate: gh is mad at me

ghskates: leo this was an awful idea  
ghskates: ketty come save me

keiano: lol on the way

chiquitita: that's it yuuri we’re moving back in with ketty  
chiquitita: this is the kind of thing we need in our lives

yiger: stranger on the internet????

chiquitita: but you see  
chiquitita: she's only a stranger for everyone but yuuri and i  
chiquitita: and i guess leo and gh now 

yiger: oh right you lived with her in detroit

yuuri: what are you doing being concerned about her being a stranger  
yuuri: you wanted to jump on a flight there just because she has a car

yiger: HVAE YOU SEEN THE CAT

ghskates: we did  
ghskates: before leo went and got us lost

leskate: babe  
leskate: that's in the past how long till you forgive me

ghskates: IT WAS TEN MINUTES AGO

leskate: babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im making this up as i go lol why do i have an obsession with a character who was in the anime for literally one scene


	5. seung-gil pls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gil sent attachment: flight-confirmation.pdf
> 
> chiquitita: oh my god  
> chiquitita: DID YOU JUST BUY A PLANE TICKEET TO JAPANn

gil: is everyone dead  
gil: am i the only one here  
gil: im so lonely  
gil: so very lonely

chiquitita: i…  
chiquitita: is this you having a sense of humor

gil: i have a sense of humor  
gil: i just don't show it to those who aren't worthy  
gil: like most of this chat

chiquitita: offended?

gil: you shouldn't be

chiquitita: awe am i worthy 

gil: over yuri and jj, yes

chiquitita: …. we have more friends

gil: my previous statement stands

chiquitita: i invite you into my groupchat  
chiquitita: into my home  
chiquitita: and this is how you treat me

gil: yes

chiquitita: seung-gil pls

gil: can you honestly say you’re better than minami?

chiquitita: okay thats not fair  
chiquitita: no one can be better than him

gil: exactly

minimart: um thank you? 

chiquitita: mini im being bullied

minimart: oh gosh  
minimart: this is out of my division

chiquitita: was that a sherlock reference?????

minimart: huh?  
minimart: what’s sherlock?

gil: ……………

chiquitita: mini are you tellling me you’ve never seen sherlock

minimart: not unless ive seen it and dont remember

chiquitita: i dont know if you can be in this chat anymore

gil: dont worry  
gil: im flying to japan  
gil: to make him watch it

minimart: should i be scared?

chiquitita: nah i think he’s kidding

_gil sent attachment: flight-confirmation.pdf_

chiquitita: oh my god  
chiquitita: DID YOU JUST BUY A PLANE TICKEET TO JAPANn

gil: i do believe that’s what the confirmation says yes

chiquitita: SEUNG-GIL NO

gil: seung-gil yes

minimart: ?????????????????/  
minimart: PHICHIT??????????

chiquitita: you cannot be serious

gil: i am serious  
gil: poor minami is Sherlock deprived and you're telling me I shouldn't dish out the money to show him what he's missing?

chiquitita: this is almost as bad as gh and leo  
chiquitita: actually this is as bad as gh and leo

ghskates: i heard my name  
ghskates: hello hello

gil: tell phichit he needs to stop picking on those who decide to go on last minute flights to other countries 

ghskates: phichit stop

chiquitita: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENIG  
chiquitita: HE JUST BOGUHT A OLANE TOCKET  
chiquitita: LIKE FIVE MINITES AGO 

gil: and your point

chiquitita: IF SG IS GKING TO JAPAN THAN I AM TOO

gil: sg?

chiquitita: it's easier than typing out your whole name  
chiquitita: like what I do with gh

vik: what is everyone going on random flights for

yiger: im flying to las vegas no one can stop me

vik: yuri no

yiger: YURI YES

gil: that's the spirit 

king: come to canada  
king: we have mac n cheese to soothe the soul 

gil: maybe later  
gil: right now i need to show mini sherlock

king: has he never seen sherlock????

minimart: no? 

vik: mini im disappointed in you  
vik: how can you call yourself a fan of yuuri katsuki and not watch sherlock

yuuri: if it helps im not a huge fan of it

_chiquitita has removed yuuri from the group_

chiquitita: I love him, but he must go

vik: I CANNOT BELUEVE I AM ENGAGED TO THIS KAN  
vik: THIS MAN WHO ISNT A FAN OF SHERLOCK 

yiger: stfu viktor he doesn't have to like the same thing you do

otatter: Sherlock is a good show though

yiger: stfu otabek im trying to stick up for katsudon

_chiquitita has removed yiger from the group_

chiquitita: anyone else have a problem with sherlock?

keiano: i can play the theme of it  
keiano: because you forced me to learn it  
keiano: but it's okay I like the show

chiquitita: see that's someone who knows what they're talking about

keiano: but yuri was right don't be mean to yuuri because he doesn't like it  
keiano: i don't like my president but you don't see me going around fighting people who voted for him 

chiquitita: stop being the responsible one  
chiquitita: there isn't supposed to be a responsible one

chrison: i like to imagine im the responsible one  
chrison: and the new favorite

_chrison added yuuri and yiger to the chat_

chrison: welcome back

yuuri: Viktor is dead to me.  
yuuri: Phichit is dead to me.  
yuuri: Yuri is my new best friend. 

yiger: I agree with katsudon. 

chiquitita: oh shit  
chiquitita: proper punctuation and capitalization  
chiquitita: yuuri in sorry please don't replace me 

gil: “in”

chiquitita: thIS IS NOT THE TOME SG MY FRIEND KS REPLACING ME

gil: “tome”  
gil: “ks”

vik: yuri and yuuri aren't here????  
vik: guys they left  
vik: mari says they told her not to tell me where the went  
vik: and she's actually not telling me

keiano: sucks dude, maybe you shouldn't have been such a dick to your only two friends 

chrison: get rekted

king: burn

vik: WHETE IS MY HUSBAND AND SON  
vik: HAVE YKU SEEN MY SON

chiquitita: YUURI COME BACK  
chiquitita: YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON VIK

vik: what no not me

leskate: what the fuck is happening 

ghskates: yuuri and yuri are best friends because everyone was mean to them  
ghskates: and mini hasn't seen sherlock

leskate: i love sherlock

king: everyone loves sherlock  
king: except viktors fiancé 

vik: stop reminding meeeeee

ghskates: oh and apparently seung-gil is flying to Japan 

chiquitita: and me too bitches

_chiquitita sent attachment: flight-confirm.pdf_

chiquitita: now how do I tell ciao ciao

yuuri: ill tell him :)

chiquitita: WAIT YUURI NO

mickeymouse: and suddenly all of phichits hopes and dreams died

chiquitita: I STILL HAVE THAT CONVERSATION WE HAD DONT MAKE ME SOREAD IT

mickeymouse: and suddenly yuuri was being mean to the best person in this chat 

chiquitita: damn right

emilmouse: what kind of blackmail do you have?????????????  
emilmouse: i would like to know 

chiquitita: it's not really blackmail anymore  
chiquitita: idk why Mickey is so set on this remaining a secret 

mickeymouse: because I like living k thx bye 

chiquitita: CIAO CIAO IS CALLING ME ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION 

yuuri: good luck! 

chiquitita: skdjakKhdjsofoaoAODFJDJCOSOSKbfdkso

vik: wow did you really throw him under the bus

yiger: im dying this is so funny  
yiger: i wish we could record his reaction to the phone call it's gonna be the best

vik: what did you two do?

yiger: :) 

otatter: yuri please tell me you didn't ruin phichits life

chiquitita: I HATE YOU BOTH  
chiquitita: I WAS SO SCARED

minimart: what happened?

chiquitita: he told ciao ciao he had bought me a ticket to Japan  
chiquitita: and that I was scared to tell him  
chiquitita: and ciao ciao told me to have fun when I visit  
chiquitita: I thought I was gonna die

otatter: wow

king: they played you

chiquitita: I KNOW THAT JJ THANKS

yuuri: btw viktor im taking yuri sight seeing  
yuuri: like I said last night  
yuuri: that you said okay to  
yuuri: because you were supposedly listening

yiger: it's your fault for freaking out  
yiger: you're too damn forgetful  
yiger: we merely took advantage of the situation 

vik: i came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now

otatter: dont steal yuri’s meme

yiger: DAMN RIGHT OTABEK  
yiger: DONT STEALMY MEME VIKTOR YOU [PIECE OF SHIT

yuuri: shhh  
yuuri: play nice

chiquitita: YUURI I HATYE YOU  
chiquitita: first sherlock and now this  
chiquitita: i cant turst you anymore we’re no longer best friends\

minimart: can i take phichit’s place as yuuri’s best friend?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

chiquitita: what no

yuuri: sure mini  
yuuri: come to yutopia and you can replace phichit and viktor  
yuuri: ;)

minimart: LASJFL;KAJSFL;KAJSDFL;KAJSDL;VCKJASDLKJASL;DKFRTJASLD;KFJASL;DKFJSDALKFJASLDFKJASDL;FKJ

vik: WHAT NO

gil: i think you broke mini  
gil: besides he cant visit you im going to force him to watch sherlock

yuuri: you guys can watch it here  
yuuri: we can have a movie night  
yuuri: or sherlock night i guess

chiquitita: i yhought you didnt like it

yuuri: doesnt mean i wont watch it if my friends want to

minimart: CAN WE REALLY?

yuuri: i dont see why not  
yuuri: if gh and leo are gonna just fly to ketty’s why cant you guys come here?  
yuuri: except viktor anjd phichit arent invited

vik: D:

yuuri: yuri and i have to go, later guys

vik: :(

chiquitita: stop pouting

vik: and you’re not? 

chiquitita: NO  
chiquitita: IM NOT  
chiquitita: NOT AST ALL

gil: stop lying you just called me crying

chiquitita: SG SHUT UP

 

emilmouse: awe poor phichit  
emilmouse: ill be your friend

mickeymouse: no you wont  
mickeymouse: you’re my friend  
mickeymouse: you were my friend first

chiquitita: emike confirmed

_ketty sent a photo: leoji-confirmed.jpeg_

chiquitita: AWE ARE THEY ON A DATE

leskate: really ketty

ketty: thug life

vik: YUURI AND I USED TO GO ON DATES  
vik: OH YUURI MY LOVE COME BACK TO ME

gil: im leaving

emilmouse: yeah bye

chiquitita: i canty deal with viktor’s sadbness when mYTOEN BEST FRIEND IS REPLACING ME

 

vik: wait no pls come back

king: nope

vik: im lonely  
vik: so very lonely

chrison: im still here

vik: so very lonely

chrison: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what even is this anymore

**Author's Note:**

> im jumping on the group chat bandwagon
> 
> on the brightside, this has been a wonderful distraction from exams


End file.
